is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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