Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
