there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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