i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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