Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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