I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
