If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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