just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
