Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
how drunk are you?
Several
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
