He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
