So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
