Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
