You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize