We're like a lot better than the average bears
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I supernannyed him into submission
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