Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
