so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize