the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
