I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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