Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
