We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
