marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
