my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
