I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I understand Curling. That high.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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