i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
