he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
