Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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