well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm really busy with my period
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
