he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize