how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
