Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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