Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
