that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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