Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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