yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
