try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
