Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He passed out mid-signature
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
