hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
