I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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