I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
