Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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