She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
