he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
