why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
