Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
