Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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