I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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