I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
