would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
