is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize