she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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