yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
