yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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