My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize