you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
