I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
