WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
