I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
