would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
