dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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