I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
