i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
