Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
