Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
